And the blame for this is that at the very beginning of the relationship people have not made it clear that to truly enjoy each of them. To clarify this very important question is the easiest way: you ask the man himself. Of course, we should not expect that in response he would give to rank a list of their values. Most likely, he himself was only dimly suspects that he likes, and no. Therefore, your task is not only ask questions but also to listen carefully to what the person answers, clarifying for yourself (and him) that he understands only partially. By the way, the interested attention like everyone, so that you immediately place the companion to him and make a significant step towards building lasting relationships. Maybe someone at the top is not ready to talk about such things.
That is his right. It means that first you have to earn his trust, that man felt safe and wanted to reveal. Building a safe space to communicate with your partner as a "trump card" that will attract and keep with you as many people as you want. Think for yourself, with someone you like to communicate: a caustic, arrogant people who, as you know, blabbed all your secrets at the first opportunity? Or with a reliable, friendly, wise interlocutors who are ready to listen and support you? The answer is obvious. Become such a companion for yourself, and you will not be alone. Of course, this may require you to something which changes.